One of my favourite reads is the daily blog from the Daily Stoic which contains more timeless, practical wisdom than anything else I have come across on the internet. I also like to include suggestions drawn from Stoicism  s appropriate when helping people in hypnosis to make useful changes in their thinking, beliefs and lifestyle habits.

So is a recent Daily Stoic blog which I thought I should share as a useful “thought for the day”…..

It might seem like the Stoics didn’t have fun, didn’t experience pleasure. They did write, after all, quite a bit about the emptiness of chasing sex or money or fine wines. But just because they scorned excess luxury and comfort doesn’t mean their lives were empty and joyless.

Quite the contrary.

In his book The Expanding Circle, the philosopher Peter Singer explains that what they were actually doing was trying to avoid the paradox of hedonism. It’s interesting, he writes, that “those who seek their own pleasure do not find it, and those who do not seek it find it anyway. The pleasures of a self-centred life eventually pall and the drive for still higher levels of luxury and delight brings not lasting satisfaction. Real fulfilment is more likely to be found in working for some other end. Hence, these philosophers claim, if we want to lead a happy life, we should not seek happiness directly, but should find a larger purpose in life, outside ourselves.”

Perfectly said.

It’s not that the Stoics didn’t experience pleasure, it’s that they found pleasure by seeking purpose. Most of the Stoics had huge fortunes or came from powerful political dynasties. They could have coasted, soaked up all that was given to them. But instead of being lazy or entitled playboys, they were of service to others. They worked on their art. They made scientific breakthroughs. They dedicated themselves to their children. They did their duty.

And from all this hard work came pleasure and pride and satisfaction. Was it the same pleasure that would have come from Rome’s famous bacchanals? No…it was better. Because they earned it. Because it was sustainable. Because it wasn’t something that slipped from their grasp or disappeared every time they got close to it. Because they weren’t pursuing the pleasure, they were pleasantly surprised when it ensued.

​As we talked about recently, the best things in life are byproducts of doing the right things. So it goes for pleasure and happiness and joy. You don’t get them by seeking things for yourself, but by the very opposite, by searching for purpose outside yourself.

I believe the answer lies in that they are “forcing” themselves to do it, whatever it is or was, and this “forced” energy is what people often call willpower. And studies show that willpower alone will only work in the short term – which is EXACTLY why resolutions only last a few weeks for most people.

And so the solution lies in making the desired change to be an involuntary, instinctive way of being,  just something that happens naturally without the inner battle and thus quickly becomes an engrained, automatic habit. And hypnosis is of course a very effective and quick way of changing habits for good.

So well done if you made a New Year’s Resolution and are still sticking to it… but if you have given up, yet still would like to make that goal a reality, maybe its time to make a resolution to see a hypnotherapist instead.

It is rare for me to share a post on my website but this one I think should be read by interested in discovering their highest self.  I also have a selfish interste in sharing it of course since hypnosis is a very rapid and powerful way to remove what this article describes as the “reducing valve” – the limiting beliefs and conditioned responses that stop people from discovering greater joy and fulfilment.

60 Seconds to Higher Consciousness

By Deepak Chopra, MD

No matter what spiritual path you choose, it seems to be an axiom that higher consciousness takes dedicated practice over a long time, perhaps a lifetime. There is also the lingering belief that only the select few, the spiritual elite, are going to succeed. Higher consciousness can’t escape seeming exceptional in its demand for intense inner work.

The overall effect of these beliefs is to discourage the average person from even considering that higher consciousness is within reach. For all practical purposes, society sets those apart who have become enlightened, saintly, or spiritually advanced, choose whatever term you want. In an age of faith such figures were revered; today they are more likely to be viewed as beyond normal life, to be admired, shrugged off, or forgotten.

Much of this is a holdover from the merger of religion, spirituality, and consciousness. For centuries there was no separating the three. Most traditional societies developed a priestly class to guard the sanctity—and privileged status—of reaching near to God. But these trappings are now outdated and even work against the truth, which is that higher consciousness is as natural and effortless as consciousness itself. If you are aware, you can become more aware. There is nothing more to higher consciousness than this logical conclusion.

No matter who you are or what level of consciousness you think you are in, two things always apply. The first is that you use your awareness every day in all kinds of ways. You think, feel, wish, perceive, etc. The second thing is that you have constricted your awareness, through a process that the English writer Aldous Huxley called the reducing valve. Instead of finding yourself in a state of expanded awareness, you edit, censor, ignore, and deny many aspects of reality. The reducing valve squeezes “whole mind,” another term favored by Huxley, to a small flow of permissible thoughts, perceptions, and feelings.

The reducing valve takes years to form, and much of what happens consists of social conditioning, which shapes us almost unconsciously. There is the huge influence of negative experiences that give rise to fear, the memory of pain, and the desire to be less open and more closed off for the sake of defending yourself. But positive experiences also can constrict your awareness, because likes and dislikes operate together. “Yes to this” and “No to that” is like a pendulum whose swing we ride for a lifetime. So powerful are our reasons for reducing reality that we grow to fear, dislike, and deny the possibility of whole mind.

Yet by definition whole mind cannot be destroyed, only distorted. A simple example is contained in the word “Hello.” Whenever someone says hello, they open a channel of experience that has little to do with the dictionary definition of the word.

If you aren’t using the reducing valve, this is what “hello” can communicate:

• Tone of voice
• Mood
• State of two people’s relationship
• Memories of past encounters
• Foretelling of what might happen next
• Signals of acceptance or rejection
• Alerts to possible threat or, on the other hand, possible welcome.

Can so much be contained in a single word? Absolutely. The study of linguistics packs all these layered experiences inside everyday language. The next time someone says hello, open yourself to the wider experience you are having. Is the other person feeling friendly or indifferent? Are you reminded of old thoughts of this person? Does your mood suddenly change? What’s the vibe being created between you?

If a traffic cop stops you and walks up to your car, his hello and yours in reply have the same dictionary definition as when someone you are deeply infatuated with says hello. But the two encounters carry vastly different meanings, which our antennae always pick up. They pick up everything unless we use the reducing valve. But 99% of the time we do use it. We don’t want the traffic cop to see that we are angry, scared, annoyed, or guilty. We don’t want the loved one we are infatuated with to see anything but what we think will seem desirable.

In a word, we feel safer and more in control by editing reality, and yet even if such feelings are attained, we pay a high cost. The reducing valve makes every situation a reflection or repetition of an older experience. It enforces routine. It puts other people, and ourselves, into a box. Very little of our everyday experience is appreciated as new and fresh, even though as viewed by whole mind, every moment is unique and unpredictable, open to infinite possibilities. Great painters have looked at the same trees, grass, clouds, and flowers that you pass by without notice and turned them into beautiful visions. Nothing is so mundane that is cannot be a source of wonder, creativity, love, and the deep satisfaction of being alive, here and now.

That last sentence is the key—it opens the door to higher consciousness not just in a minute but instantly. You are naturally nothing less than whole mind; the reducing valve minimizes your potential by an unmeasurable extent. How do you measure the next opportunity to feel wonder after the opportunity has vanished? What value is lost when “hello” is a ritualized word with hardly any meaning once all the possible meanings have been squeezed out of it?

It is in those questions that the motivation lies for expanding your awareness. You can do it here and now, without effort. Just realize, once and for all, that higher consciousness is the most natural, effortless, and fulfilling way to live. From there, infinity follows.

Deepak Chopra MD, FACP, founder of The Chopra Foundation

The Importance Of Quality Sleep

Quality sleep is one of the most important ways to improve your brain function, longevity, and overall performance. If you can sleep better, you’ll see huge gains in almost every area of your life.

Poor sleep, on the other hand, is one of the fastest ways to sabotage your biology. One night of low-quality sleep impairs your brain function as if you had a few drinks –– and if you go a full night without sleep, your mental performance drops as if you had a blood alcohol content which is well over the legal limit for driving. Poor sleep comes with major costs.

Stress is one of the most common causes of low-quality sleep. It can create a frustrating feedback loop where the more stressed you are, the worse you sleep –– which then adds to your stress, continuing the cycle.

How Stress Affects Your Sleep

When you’re sleeping, you enter a deep recovery state. Your brain and body largely shut off so that they can repair and replenish themselves for the coming day.

Sleep is also when you’re least aware of your environment and most vulnerable to threats. In order to relax into deep sleep, your sympathetic nervous system – the “fight or flight” part of your brain that influences cortisol – has to turn off.

The problem is that when you’re chronically stressed, your sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive. It’s on almost all the time, pumping out cortisol to keep you alert and ready to deal with potential threats.

Not surprisingly, chronic stress is one of the best predictors of insomnia and other sleep issues, as well as overall poor sleep quality.

The good news is that you can break that cycle, get rid of stress, and improve your sleep with hypnotherapy.

I came across this in a post recently and it made me usefully pause for thought and want me to share it with you too….

Many of the ancient wisdom schools hold the same beliefs and principles for living  at their core.

Whether we’re talking about Ayurvedic Medicine, Amazonian Shamanism, or the powerful healing arts of Ancient China, you will find they’re rooted in the same profound observations.

Many of these understandings about the human spirit and the mysterious patterns of nature have been forgotten in our modern age. It’s time to remember.

The passage below, from the Tao Te Ching, is a powerful universal law that transcends culture, space and time. I hope you enjoy this ancient wisdom as much as I do!

Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu – Verse 8

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It flows to the low places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it is like the Tao.
Live in accordance with the nature of things.
In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling be just.
In action, watch the timing.
No fight: No blame.
One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things.
They move in harmony with the present moment,
always knowing the truth of just what to do.

I came across an intersting article recently which says here’s what brain research says will make you happy:

• Ask “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
• Label those negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
• Decide. Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.”
• Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.

So what’s the dead simple way to start that upward spiral of happiness?

Just send someone a thank you email (or text or a card).  If you feel awkward about it, you can send them this post to tell them why.

This really can start an upward spiral of happiness in your life. UCLA neuroscience researcher Alex Korb explains:

Everything is interconnected. Gratitude improves sleep. Sleep reduces pain. Reduced pain improves your mood. Improved mood reduces anxiety, which improves focus and planning. Focus and planning help with decision making. Decision making further reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment. Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for, which keeps that loop of the upward spiral going. Enjoyment also makes it more likely you’ll exercise and be social, which, in turn, will make you happier.

So thank you for reading this!

I came across a post form the Daily Stoic recently which struck a chord as in my experience anger as a therapist, I see the corrosive impact of anger on people. The post said….

“There are a lot of things that oppose us in this life. Starting with gravity, we are held down by so many things: other people, bad luck, injustice, unfavourable odds, and god only knows what else. We struggle to get ahead. We struggle to realize our potential. We run into so many obstacles.

But in many ways our biggest obstacle, our most dangerous opponent, is anger.

Our own. And other people’s.

Anger, ancient Stoic thinkers said is the ugliest and most savage of all emotions—because “no plague has done more harm to humankind.”  and “it is hard to fight with anger, for whatever it wants, it will pay the price, even at the cost of life itself.”

Anger kills the human spirit. And creates villainy in its place. There is a reason in the first three Star Wars movies that the Emperor is the most hopeful in the fight for Luke Skywalker’s soul when Luke is at his angriest. Anger is what makes people hate each other. It makes us make mistakes from which we cannot recover. Anger is why we hold onto grudges, even when they are holding us back. Anger is why people act impulsively. Anger is why we had trouble sleeping last night. Anger is what makes our heart beat faster, stressing us out, harming our own health.

Anger cares about nothing but its own satisfaction, its own relief. And it’s going to get it from you—from the world—even at the cost of your own life. Anger is a sure fire way to shorten it. So you have to tame your temper. You have to get this under control. It’s your most dangerous opponent. It’ll kill you if you’re not careful.

I think this says it all and is one of the reasons why I find it so rewarding to help people through hypnosis to learn how to tame their anger and redirect their energies in mouch more productive, life enhancing ways for them.

In response to clients asking for a recommended reading list, I could give a long list but the following are the ones which I think make a magnificent 7:

Emotional Intelligence (EI) rather IQ is the key to success in life. I really enjoy enabling people to increase their emotional intelligence and enjoy the benefits of doing so. For anyone reading this who prefers a self help approach, here’s a way – Remember RULERR:

• Recognition:. Ignore your emotions and they’ll stay right here and progressively ruin your life. So regularly check in with yourself and recognise what you are feeling. Become conscious of what emotional state you are in….
• Understanding: Keep asking yourself “How come I am feeling this way?…what am I doing that is causing me to experience this state?
• Label: Name it to tame it. Be like a wine connoisseur with your feelings. Label what you are experiencing e.g. I’m feeling angry/anxious/confused /excited/sad/disappointed/down etc etc.  Labelling really helps you to gain control and decide if you want to keep being in that state or just let it go.
• Express: Open up — but develop “display rules” so it’s safe for you to share what you are feeling (and without blaming someone or something for your emotion). No one can make you mad, sad, glad or whatever unless you let them!
• Regulate: 3rd person self-talk  –  use your own name or address yourself as “he/she/they” and “him/her/them.” e.g. Does he/she really need to be angry about X right now? rather than Do I need to be angry about X right now? – seems weird but it works!
• Reframe (look at it in a different, more constructive, useful way).  Be your Best Self.

And how do you make RULERR easier to do and let your emotional intelligence grow? You can do this by just taking better care of yourself – Get enough sleep… eat healthily…exercise… see friends more… love the people you love more…laugh more …engage in activities/pastimes you find enjoyable.

I came across this interesting and useful 15 minute Ted Talk recently which I am sure will resonate with lots of people who are experiencing the state of “languishing” (and if you are feeling you cannot be bothered to watch it, then that may well be a sign that you need to go with this FLOW!). And if you would like my help to boost your ability to expereince FLOW – just give me a call.